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Ironstove
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Name: Ironstove
Birthday: 3/15/1988
Gender: Male
Interests: Nothing produtive.
Expertise: Sounding smarter than I actually am.
Message: message me
Member Since:
6/4/2003
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| Fuck my life.
I woke up this morning and I realized my wallet was MIA. I tried to backtrack, but I've failed because I still don't know where that small, leathery satchel which houses my currency has gone.
FUCK. MY. LIFE.
lol so I read through one of my old high school essays. Have to say that I'm surprised I enjoyed it. I consider high school me to be an idiot whom I would beat up if I ever got the chance to meet again.
I was a pretty half-assed student in high school if I do say so myself. I liked to learn new things in school, but I hated doing all of the work. I basically listened to all of the lessons but never did any homework because I felt that they were really basic concepts. Now college is a different story. I barely understand the material, and I need to do homework in order to truly grasp the concept or else I lick dirt off of my smart friends' shoes for the rest of the quarter so that they help me.
I have to say that I was a much darker writer back in the day, but that's because I was such a negative nancy and always thought it was some bullshit like me vs the world since life was pretty shitty for me at the time. Things have certainly gotten better, but I will admit that me and my close friends have grown apart slightly. I don't really mind though. They're still friends to me and stuff. We all eventually grow up and get lives of our own.
I was talking with my friends the other day. I hadn't seen then in a while since I spend most of my time at school, but we were discussing how life would be in the future. Now, I'm a pretty horrible guy that always likes to see the worst of things because I find flaws to be funny. I like to laugh at flaws, though sometimes I don't necessarily succeed and end up wallowing in self-pity occasionally when I notice something about myself that catches me completely off guard.
But yea, I would really like to see myself in 10 years. The older and older I become, the more and more resolved I am about never starting a family. Like, fuck having kids. Seriously. They are cute and adorable and everything, but seriously, fuck kids. Just a living heap of responsibility and insanity all packed up in a nice cute, soft-skulled bundle. I wouldn't mind getting married, but I don't really see that happening. I would have to REALLY like the girl, and not just be ok with her. I'd even go so far to say that I'd have to be in 'LOVE' with the girl, but I don't really think that's possible for me anymore. The longer and longer I've lived, the less and less I believe that I'll actually find a woman who understands my thinking. I mean, that's all anyone really seeks though in life isn't it? Understanding from others.
I believe that we as humans all want the same things out of life, but in different forms. Happiness for one person could be living in a fucking shack in the middle of the woods with his/her soulmate, while happiness for another could be getting butt-fucked by 12 black dudes on top of mount everest. Really, who am I to really understand what other people ultimately want out of life? I've been on the fucking internet people. I've seen and read some fucked up shit from real people. Like, sometimes it just dawns on me that the stupid ass shit that I read on the net was really written by another living, breathing human being (If they even deserve to be called that). But I will say that there is a ton of good shit on the net. If you just go to the right places then anyone can find shit that they like on the net.
But yea... 10 years.... I wonder where I will be. I don't like to imagine or anticipate the future. Some of the biggest disappointments in my life have come from thinking that things were 'for sure' and events would run smoothly, just as planned in my head. I've also had enough near-death experiences to the point where I don't even want to jinx myself by saying I'll even be around in 10 years. It's scary sometimes to think about death, but one must accept that all human life ultimately ends in death. Unless you're religious, in which case, death is just a new beginning! But no, I'm not religious so death is the end. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
Who knows though, it would be so surprising if I end up as a husband and father and I have like 8 kids. Fucking lawl. I highly doubt that will ever occur because I will personally falcon punch my wife everytime she gets pregnant after the 3rd because any more than 3 and I will have to get a divorce because I'll fall victim to the paranoia that she is simply having more kids because she wants to divorce me in the future and needs to make BANK off that child support if she doesn't want to work. hahaha. I'm just kidding though. I'm pretty sure she'd be pretty unattractive after the third child, and plus, I really do not like teenagers. You'd probably see me on the news as some angry asian dad that that chokeslammed his kid at the mall for crying about not getting a video game.
Fuck you son. I fucking had to deal with 8-bit Mario and Duck Hunt for like a good 5-6 years of my life before I finally got an upgrade to SNES. Then all of the game systems stopped after that.
While all of my friends were getting N64s, playstations, game cubes, xboxs, and all that shazaam, I was still playing Chrono Trigger, Super Mario World, and Zelda for like the 6th fucking time. Fuck you faggots with your fancy graphics. My games had fucking heart. HEART MAN. YOU CAN'T FUCKING FIND THAT SHIT ANYMORE IN GAMES NOWADAYS AND NO GRAPHICS, NO MATTER HOW GOOD, WILL EVER FUCKING HAVE AS MUCH HEART AS CHRONO TRIGGER AND ZELDA.
K, angry nintendo rant is over.
But yea, I consider myself to be mature in my understanding of life and how it functions, but very immature in the way I act and where my interests and hobbies lie. I am still pretty much a kid inside and I don't have very much interest in all of the stuff that people my age like to do. Like clubs and parties for example... I fail at that shit. Not even like I go in trying to fail. It would be nice if I could just walk in and be the life of the party, but no, I'm more like Corey from Boy Meets World in the sense that I need a bottle with me everytime I want to open my mouth to say anything. So alcohol goes in, amusing gibberish comes out. Quite sad really, but not really. It's normal. I see it so much that I'm not even bothered by it anymore. Everyone has their vices, and it's all nice and easy to judge others and say they have problems, but fuck you guys. Go fix your own problems and even if you have no problems, nobody likes a nosy-ass fag so there is one problem you probably overlooked. Fag.
Well, it was nice writing these giant walls of text for the past 30 minutes. It really calmed me down and took my mind off of my wallet. I'm not really mad about my wallet as much as I am sad. I had that thing for over 5 years and I also had my license, school ID, and other cards in it. I narrowed it down to the wallet either being in some obscure location in my house, or in some dumpster. I am really hoping that the former triumphs over the latter.
And by the way, in closing, for those in the small audience that have bothered to stay here for this long, I thank you. As your reward, here is a cool site that I find myself on occasionally if you haven't heard of it already: Omegle.com
It's basically a site that lets you chat with a random stranger. Now you or the stranger can DC at anytime so there is no obligation to stay if you are not enjoying the convo. I will warn right now that it's not for younger people since there are a lot of pervs on there that just want to cyber, but I just DC and reconnect until I find a tight person who is almost as tight as me. HA. Not possible. But sometimes they do come close to filling my shadow. Close.
LOL. God that was such a cocky thing to say, but I was just kidding. I joke around about a lot of things if that wasn't already painfully obvious. I fail at taking things seriously and sometimes it bites me in the ass because I really wait last second for a lot of tasks such as final essays and projects and other serious business shiz.
I'll be going now. It's 1 AM and I need to head to bed soon so I'll probably continue reading Cat's Cradle (Which, by the way, was recommended to me by someone I met on Omegle and I liked the guy so I decided to follow up on his recommendation).
*Tangent: I was reminded of what the guy told me, "Don't read the summary on wikipedia you fag." Which I laughed at when I saw it, but I realized, there are so many books I was going to read, but never bothered picking up because I read the summary on wiki and was like, "Oh why should I bother reading it? I already know what happens. What is the point?" So I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you want to read more, don't read summaries because if you think you aren't going to like a book or if it doesn't sound that interesting, you most likely won't read it. I rarely come across interesting summaries. I think the last book I read solely based off of the summary was Mossflower which was like 7 years ago. It is a fucking BADASS book by the way and so are the other books in the series. If you like fantasy of any sort, it is AN EPIC FANTASY BOOK. Brian Jacques is a fucking modern genius. That book in my opinion, is BETTER than Dune and head to head with the LOTR series.
Funny thing about summaries though is that I read Catcher in the Rye because I liked the summary so much, but the book was completely different from the summary I read. LOL. It was supposed to be about some scientists experimenting with a new AI robot and trying to improve it, so I initially thought for like a good 90% of the book that Holden was this AI robot who did not know he was a robot and was simply having these 'memories' written into his brain. I swear to god, I read the entire book expecting a twist that never came. I was left pretty confused at the end and I even went back to the library to look the summary up again only to be confused even further until my english teacher LOL'd when I asked him WTF was going on.
*Tangent end.
Ta ta. Hope you're all having a nice day with your fat wallets hugging your fat ass cheeks. Laters.
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| Wrote a fucking essay for a discussion board I'm on, but fuck it. waste of time to write it, but I felt bad deleting it all so here it is. For myself to read years from now to determine who was right. [quote author=alexxlea link=topic=25196.msg188470#msg188470 date=1261466027]
Yawn we grew up during two decades of the fastest and most violent credit and asset expansion in human history. The bubble hasn't even begun to be popped. People have no fucking clue what's coming at them, governments are debasing currencies the world over just to keep themselves running, and the ordinary citizen has no means to prepare for the coming storm. ... Why do you think everyone's cashing out right now? My logic is flawless and my thesis is backed up by events that are occuring in the real world. A consumer economy cannot be sustained. The premise of a society in perpetual growth is laughable. It'll be fun for the people who are owed our trillions, as they'll realize that while they were sitting in factories in China we were consuming their finished goods, with no intentions whatsoever of fulfilling our debt obligations in any reasonable manner other than hyperinflation or default.
[/quote]
What is money? Why are you alive right now? Who really cares if the world is going to end if there was no purpose for it to be there from the start? Acting like economic collapse and revolution are something new. Happens every generation, just in different forms. We can technically keep 'borrowing' money under the pretense of paying it back. We can also 'borrow' money to pay back others, then borrow from them again to pay the others. Money is nothing. Money is everything. Money is just paper/metal that we, as humans, have arbitrally declared as holding value.
In actuality, money is worthless. It's just us humans with our crazy imagination that have created this whole idea of necessity that reaches far beyond what we actually need. The only thing that will make humans get off their lazy asses to do anything is money or the illusion of it. That's the only thing that makes me move. You say that the US economy is going to end, but I disagree. Only stupid people invest all of their eggs in one basket. Sure, people that borrowed a lot and bought a house got fucked, but do you know what you and I call those people? Retards. I apologize to people that have lost a lot of money to the real estate crash, but I think you have to be retarded to put yourself in such a terrible situation. My parents did the same thing and I called them stupid as well. I already told my dad to divorce my mom because all he does is bitch and moan about how she was the one that convinced him to refinance the house to get a loan for their business (Not that their economic situation affects me at all. I was pretty much thrown out and forced to be independent after HS. Not to give the impression that I got my shit together, because I still sweat sometimes to pay all the bills LOL). Fucking retards deserve retarded shit happening to them. END OF STORY. No matter how fucked up the world is Alex, there is always a way to exploit the system and be on top. With that being said, no matter how good a system is, there is always a way to fuck yourself in the ass. I.E. PRESENT AMERICAN ECONOMY. Shit is handed to you on a silver fucking platter in this society and people still cry like life is hard. Honest solution to all of life's problems is to go into your backyard and dig a giant hole, crawl into it, and then /wrists. Otherwise, you can live with all the stupid shit and suck out as much good as you can out of life. Whether it be through drugs, sex, or simply living an honest life, shit is relative. If you can trick yourself and forget about all the bad shit, then life is good as far as YOU'RE concerned. If you cut people out of your life or just live with people that cut themselves off from the world as well, then life is STILL good because you STILL live in sweet, blissful ignorance. Greed and ambition are great motivators, but impatience and not knowing your own physical/mental limitations just set a person up for a big downfall. I know I can't be the best. I've met the best. The best is like me but smarter, better looking, better motivated, more focused, more ruthless, ect.... Imagine a guy who is your doppleganger, but is better than you in every way imaginable. Multiply that by thousands and that's what you're up against in the world. You all talk like you have life figured out, but once you go into the world and eat asphault and shit like I have, it really teaches you how hardcore life really is. There are some smart, dangerous people out there that don't like attention and they are handling shit. I trust them more than I trust myself. The only thing I know about life is that there is no purpose to living it other than for selfish enjoyment which you can mask in whatever way you want. People that aren't getting the most out of life i.e. putting themselves in uncomfortable/unenjoyable situations are just idiotic twits that are selling themselves short for god knows what fucking reason. The list of delusions is endless. I have been crushed and recrushed in life to realize that I can either spend my entire life being trying to be the best and getting crushed by people better than me, or just drop down and crush people that I am better than. Seeing as how I'm certainly not the stupidest faggot in the pool, it's likely that I can spend the rest of my life smartly avoiding those that beat me and just pick on the weak. Yea, it sounds pathetic, but isn't life pathetic to begin with? How does it feel to know that you're not that good at anything and in reality, you're not even important? Probably not a good feeling which is why most people don't acknowledge or accept it. "You just need to believe in yourself" is what they normally say. OH HOGPOSH! PFFT! Sounds like a certain someone shouldn't be reproducing if yaknow what i mean. I'll be doing you all a favor and not having any children. Break out the champagne bottles kids. | | |
| Then feel good about yourself because you finally did something good for the day, at least compared to all of the other shit you've been doing up until that point.
I realize time and time again that writing is unproductive for me since I am in no way close to finishing any of my random stories since most don't get very far before I read back to simply proof some errors, but instead grimace at the horrific writing that I was producing not but a week ago.
Seriously? What the fuck is this shit man? Go back to doing your maths and scientists! That's all you're good at! BAH!
Writing unclever metaphors, like the.... uh.... your mom.
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| I sat on my computer up until 3 AM watching this chinese martial arts film called Ip Man that was supposed to be about Bruce Lee's teacher but instead told a story about how life was all great and wonderful up until the point that WWII and the Japanese happened. God damn Japanese! Always gotta ruin everything when it's good!
lol.
But anyway, I realized today that I have been hanging around too many smokers because I find that I'm on my last pack and I had just gotten 6 like a week ago lol =.=" What the hell man. That's like a pack a day! But that's also assuming I don't bum cigarettes out to my friends, but I also bum cigarettes sometimes.... Not as much though hmmm.
I really hate the California taxes on cigs. Such utter nonsense! What have I done wrong to society to receive these unjust financial burdens? I'm just here smokin' my cigarette and studyin' for my fuckin' finals. Leave me be! I hate buying cigs out of the country but I find myself just hitting up friends I hear are leaving the country to pick me up a carton everytime lol. I'm such an evil opportunistic guy =].
On another note, I got a job as a delivery boy for the old pizza hut. Turns out my friend works there and just had to talk to the manager to get me hired. He asked me to stay on-board until the end of the year, but I'm tempted to take off after my first pay check. LOL.
Fuck.
I am a terrible person. I need to go outside and shoot myself... or start studying for my next test. BRB.
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