February 25, 2012

• lulz

  I had a startling realization today while I was drinking some water to fight off this hangover...

  While I don't ever tag my locations on facebook, this is done more for the reasons that I don't own a smartphone and still live in the stone age hence I'm technologically disadvantaged/handicapped when it comes to logging my every single move on the internet for all to see (Assuming that they care to see, because let's be honest here, you all love me and think about me all day everyday, I know it, you know it, and those of you that deny it, know you're just in denial because it's actually true).

  Then this idea popped in my head which I thought was pretty amusing: What if the day I got a smartphone, I just went around driving to places to tag myself with my phone just to make everyone think I was living this life that was completely opposite of what it really was?

  Like my friend invited me out today to eat at this expensive ass restaurant that serves a $20 hamburger that he wants to try out and I was like:

  No Thanks

   

   

  But it dawned on me that if I had a smartphone, I could just tag myself at that location like so:

  Ben Cool is enjoying one expensive-ass, high-class burger at Comme Ca with Collan Awesome.
   Click to like

  Alternatively, there would also be other status updates to make myself look extremely cool and high class like:

  "Having a blast with all of my friends @ Disneyland"

  "So happy to be spending a night out by myself to forget about stupid friend-drama. @ Disneyland"

  "Who needs people when you have Mickey Mouse? @ Disneyland"

  "Feeling pretty down, going to go pre-game then party it out, hopefully bring home some young bitches. @ Disneyland"

  Anyway, just an idea. Everyone that knows you in real life would be like, 'Yea, this is total bullshit, we all know that, but what isn't?' while the strangers who you are 'friends' with on facebook would be like, 'omg this guy is the coolest person ever, I wish he would invite me out to party with him.' then you'd become a legend on the main feed as everyone likes your every status update because people follow along with utmost interest, fighting off their droll lives by vicariously living through you on facebook. 

  • 1:26 pm
  • 2 Comments