July 10, 2013

• Anti-climactic.

  Well, after saying all of my farewells and good-byes and fuck yous to everyone on this site expecting everything to sink under water and sleep with the fishes, the alarm bells have gone off, and a gentle voice in the background now whispers in my ear 'Just kidding', which despite it being the wrong sense, leaves a tantalizing taste in my mouth which I can only describe as being awkward. 

  Oh? So you're all still here then, huh? Ha. Hahahaha. Great.... Well.... I'm glad you're still here, infact, I'm HAPPY! Yes! I'm Happy to see that everyone including myself is still around, and please don't mind the face paint I drew on myself or the incoherent chanting that I was singing over and over while dancing circles around the fire I made out of my credit card bills... Yea, just forget about all of that, because well... The world didn't end, and I suppose from this point forward, things will have to just continue on like nothing ever happened, because nothing ever did happen. 

  Brilliant. 

  So between the last update I made and this update, I went from making this subtle brag about how I wasn't single anymore to now being single again. I'll be pretty brief about this chapter of my life, because frankly speaking, it's not a pretty one, which ironically enough... Is probably something that you all want me to go into more detail about huh? WELL TOO BAD! To put it shortly, she kept telling me I didn't care, I kept doing things to show her I cared (least I thought I was), which apparently did nothing because in the end I still got dumped for not caring enough /being good enough. Typical. It just wasn't meant to be. 

  So yea, I decided that versus sulking about and going through this whole stupid existential crisis that I always force myself to go through whenever life changing events occur, I'd just skip all of that and get back into the rhythm, else I'm going to fall behind everything that I'm working on.

  So to give a very brief update on things: My work is going good as usual, things are pretty relaxed and slow as I am currently taking training this week. I have a 1 week vacation planned the following week with my ex, whom I am going to hang out with. Is that kind of weird? Some people might think that's kind of weird. I am kind of weird anyway, so whatever. 

  I have an interview this Friday for a job in Colorado, and I'm still preparing for it. Apparently I have a pretty good chance to get the position as I have people working at the company who have already put in a good word and recommended me, now the real question here is whether or not I actually want to move to Loveland, CO which is a place I have never been to in order to gain a marginal pay increase, living cost reduction, and etc.. etc... etc... I would have to drop 2 of the businesses I am working on as they require my physical presence in California, but the money I would make from moving would completely make up for that... Aw shit.

  I still plan to go back to law school eventually at some point in my career, so this wouldn't be a bad idea if I decided to work in Colorado for 3-4 years, move back to California and then continue on with my plan, but my fear is that I might either A. Hate the job and want to quit which would then mean I made a huge mistake leaving California, or B. Settle down in Colorado for the rest of my life and give up on my dreams here. 

  Well, whatever... This is actually a really hard decision for me to make, but I suppose I will have to wait until after my interview and after I hear a decision from the company... Overall, if I didn't get the job, that would make my life a lot easier, and a part of me kind of hopes that I don't, but that's really just not the right way to think. It's honestly a once in a lifetime opportunity that I've even gotten this far, and it would be a big mistake career-wise to pass it up, but I'm also giving up my youth and my ability to have fun if I do take the job, because they WILL work my ass off. SIGH....

  • 2:29 am
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