February 16, 2012

• Mildly Retarded

  Me, browsing through facebook with friend while grabbing some coffee.

  Friend looks at my page.

  "So why don't you have a cover?"

  "Because... there is no photograph that could possibly encapsulate and properly demonstrate how fucking amazing I am to someone who visits my page."

  "So you're so cool that nothing is the only thing that can properly represent who you are."

  "Exactly."

  "So you are nothing."

  "Yes, because nothing will never be mainstream."

  "Huh? Oh nevermind... I get it! No, but seriously, what the fuck is that retarded shit you just said?"

  "Like a picture of an empty room, you ever think people are going to stand in line for hours to see that? Or brag about how they sat in a chair idly watching a ceiling fan for a couple of hours? No. Even a ceiling fan is too much. Shit, even the empty room is something... I'm talking about NOTHING here."

  "Wow... That's really stupid."

  "Or utterly, stupidly brilliant, that is, stupidity of such epic magnitude, that only a true genius could have come up with the idea..."

  "Uh. No.... that shit is retarded with a capital X... but seriously, could you stop being such a hipster? It's not even cool anym- ."

  "..."

  "Well fuck......"

  "Yep."

  "You know what? You're right. Trying your hardest to not stand out is the best way for you to stand out. You're just so brilliantly contrarian and ahead of the game that you realize the only way to properly demonstrate to other people how smart you are is to do and say some of the dumbest shit they've ever seen and heard, respectively."

  "Well, no, that's not-"

  "The most retarded shit I've ever seen and heard...."

  • 2:27 am
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