February 14, 2012

  • What the hell

    I spend my days now constantly feeling like I'm missing something, but I don't know what it is.

    At the end of the day, I buy myself nice things and I still get this feeling like I don't really have what I want.

    I wake up constantly in the middle of the night unable to go back to sleep, skip meals because I don't feel hungry, and look around to see this trash heap of a room I'm living in and wonder to myself at what point in time did my life actually start getting better and at what points did it remain exactly the same and/or get worse?

    I've been having these ridiculously vivid dreams which make no sense to me which I will not get into because my retelling of Dr. Seuss's nightmare in and of itself would take a ridiculously large amount of time and is honestly more trouble than it is worth since it is just a bunch of random bullshit which even Freud wouldn't be able to make anything out of. He'd just tilt his head to the side with this perplexed look scratching his chin and go, "Well... I'm fucking stumped... Doesn't seem like you want to fuck your mother, doesn't seem like you want to fuck your dog, and doesn't seem like you want to fuck little children.... I really don't know what else there is... I mean, what else could I-Er... A person secretly want to fuck besides those things?"

    Slightly unrelated, but does anyone else here feel that doing laundry is seriously the fucking bane of their existence? WHY HAVEN'T THEY CREATED ROBOTS TO DO THIS SHIT FOR ME YET? AND IF ROBOTS DON'T EXIST, WHY THE FUCK ISN'T SLAVERY LEGAL? That shit is as stupid as prohibition and yet we haven't repealed it. Free country my ASS. I am willing to bet a large sum of money that there is some poor soul out there barely managing in a third would country that would die for the chance to live in America as my slave being given food, clothing, and shelter at the price of eternal loyalty and servitude. I'M WILLING TO FUCKING BET. 

    Ugh, god damn fucking society and it's backwards-ass irrational and illogical system of morality. God damn people don't even fucking know what's right and what's wrong but each and every single one of them think they're fucking saints/confucious or some equally retarded shit that makes them believe they are all high and mighty to compensate for the mediocre and mundane lives which they live full of unconscious denials about their inadequacies. 

    I think I know what it is that's been bugging me, but I don't want to say yet because that would implicate that I've been living my life wrong for a few years by taking the path of obtaining an education and enslaving myself to corporate America. Let's just hope my hunch is incorrect.... The last thing I need right now is some 5th phase mid-life crisis nonsense going on in my life. Moar clothes. Moar foods. Moar philistine desires fulfilled. Moarrrrrr

     Edit:

    I just noticed right now that today is Valentine's Day and I'd just like to meticulously take the time to point out that this rant has absolutely nothing and almost everything to do with it being Valentine's Day. No, but really, I didn't even realize it was V-Day today. What do I have planned though? Well, I sure am glad you guys asked, I'm probably going to sit in my chair starving to death for the next few hours then go get my well-matched business casual outfit out of my closet then iron it, go take a shower then put on aforementioned business casual outfit and then head out to my car and drive to work, but not before eating breakfast because I am seriously about to gnaw on this fucking table from how hungry I am right now. 

    After work, I will proceed to head home, fighting my urge to steer my car towards the sidewalks clipping off high school couples bold enough to openly celebrate their love for each other out in the open, upon arriving home, I will drop my bag on the floor, sit my ass down in my chair, then go on facebook grumbling to myself as I go through all the positive and negative status updates about V-Day then remove from my friends list anyone who is in a relationship that fucking dares to try to empathize with the single people on this day with some poorly stylized saying such as 'Happy V-Day Guys! Even to the forever aloners out there! Lol!' 

    After going through this Stalin-esque purge, I'm going to go outside and steal someone's cat then bring it inside my place and tape it to my lap so it cannot run away while I sit on my bed with my laptop and eat a box of chocolates and watch Forest Gump on repeat until I fall asleep. I will proceed to wake up the next morning, February 15th, with a massive sugar hangover and a dead, suffocated cat corpse stuck to my body which I will proceed to peel off of myself before I head out to work planning to tell everyone what a great and exciting valentine's day I had and how they should all be jealous and envious of my fucking amazing life. 

    And that's it for my day.

Comments (4)

  • You know what will make you feel better?

    Spending a set proportion of your income on services that you can not be bothered to do yourself. For example, paying someone $5 every second day to wash your hair (this includes a delicious head massage as the conditioner sinks in). Paying someone $30 a fortnight to do your laundry. Paying someone $20 a night for cooking your meals.

    The list goes on and life is a whole lot better. Why else do you earn money if not to pay for the things your parents now refuse to do for you?

  • *hands you a cupcake*

    .... and copious amounts of alcohol

  • Hope your day gets better. :) Every second is an opportunity to change your life. They say if you look at things differently the world will change yeah?

    I don't think anyone can ever make mistakes, especially for 'living things wrong.' We all came here with lessons to learn yeah? They say when life knocks us in the face with the same lesson over and over again, we are meant to learn something... Just different forks in life.... Use your intuition and intellect and you'll know what to do :3

  • As you know, I'm going through my own pre-pre-mid-life crises (plural) right now. I congratulate you for getting your education. You will be able to eat through all of your meltdowns without moving back to your parents house (others of us are not so fortunate). If it's not the education you wanted, or its not the path you wanted to take, you are still very young. You have a lot of time to go do shit. Move, travel, see the world. I sold my soul to Delta and never looked back. (Ok I looked back but I don't regret it.) You have both the time and resources to figure out what you want and I encourage you to utilize that.

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